Life Is A Mystery
Long ago a wise teacher of mine was trying to help me with something I struggled with. Nothing was helping until he said these words, “Life is a mystery.” To know that is to know life. It was one of those pivotal moments for me and those words woke me up. I was trying to mind muscle through my problem and it wasn’t helping. Life is a mystery helped me see beyond my story. I needed a bigger perspective and many times in the last decade I’ve returned to that phrase as a mantra for calming my worried mind.
Now that it’s 2020 I did a little writing exercise and listed some of my experiences from the last decade. It was a fun exercise and I highly recommend it. While writing it I realized again that life is indeed a mystery. So much of what happens to us is sort of zany or ridiculous or frustrating and deeply painful. It’s how we respond that makes the difference.
Highlights of my past decade:
Started gardening, learned to draw, took art (painting) classes, studied with zen soto teacher, got married, moved to the country, became a solar home, went through my second Saturn return, became a Grandmother twice!, adopted two cats, had to put my 15 year old pup to sleep, closed small yoga studio in Mpls, stopped teaching yoga full time, taught dance classes (long story there:), Father and Stepfather died within 6 weeks of each other, best friend and shaman teacher died, many dear friends and family died, started coaching in 2015 and have now coached 62 people, wrote my first book, bought my first Persian rug, started Italy retreat company and now hosted 168 guests on Radiant Jane Italy Retreats, hired a business director (huge impact and amazing results!), traveled to the Marshal Islands-think Bikini Atol, traveled extensively through Italy seeing Venice, Orvieto, Rome, Florence, Pisa, Naples, Sorrento, Ravena, Amalfi Coast, Cinque Terra, Sicily, island of Salina, Taormina, hill towns of Montalcini, Montepulciano, Pienza, Trequanda, Montisi, broke my leg, had two surgeries as a result, learned tons about pain, made peace with some people, learned how to make mistakes, practiced forgiveness, collaborated with many new people, made tons of new friends-including many in Italy, hosted my first Florence Italy retreat, saw my first Italian ballet, started drumming and whew. That’s enough for now.
No wonder I need a nap.
Of course it would be impossible to list all the moments and days where I was tired, anxious, curious, frustrated, peaceful, angry, perplexed, low energy, high energy, elated, moody, etc. but you get it.
I’m the kind of person who gets up every day and gives herself a little pep talk. I’m ok with knowing that some days I’ve got to create a positive mood because I’m just not feeling it. I’ve been doing this for a long time and it’s my version of Loving Kindness.
To cap off 2019 I lived out a dream of mine and spent Christmas in NYC. I adored this experience. Food! NY is a food miracle on every corner. My husband and I had a carriage ride through Central Park Christmas evening. It was all I imagined it would be.
I tried lots of new things this past decade, took quite a few risks. Learned so much it makes my head spin. Most of what I tried was very good, some was weird AF.
This is where the mantra comes in.
Life is a mystery.
We know that on some level but need help remembering. Sometimes it just all makes sense and sometimes it just doesn’t. We may never know why or be able to figure it all out but you know…
Life is a mystery.
Keep loving yourself and your dear ones. Never stop doing that. Try things that scare you this decade and go ahead and fail. It’s all ok.
My new mantra is NOW.
As I move deeper into my own life I’m not messing around. I’ve got only so much time. All of the past is just that, the past.
I want to savor a new narrative and one that doesn’t bind me to the past. The old stories, patterns and ways of being are gone.
It’s 2020 and time to shine!
Go out there and grab life dear ones.
We’ve got so much to do. I have so much hope for our world. I have to. It’s the only way.